Aly Ogan writing on how to lean on Christ as your perfection in the midst of feeling like you can never measure up.
I don’t really like lilies. I never really thought they were that pretty. And on top of that I hated when they came in bouquets because they bloomed too fast and they would make the biggest mess once the leaves strayed falling and all that pollen was everywhere. They were a pain and I wasn’t tryna like them.
Weird enough my good friend Deebs asked me what my favorite flower was today, and I couldn’t think of anything except for, i don’t like lilies.
That thought has been bothering me for the rest of the day. Someone asked me, what’s your favorite ___? And I responded with well my least favorite is…
What a stupid response, and how sad that my brain works like that. But I have come to see that carries over into a lot of areas, some I’m more aware than others, but I do know I’m not known for being the most optimistic person in the world. That’s always bothered me about me. I want to be seen as positive, a life speaker, a honey dripper if you will. All I wanna do is correct that about myself so I will pray first thing in the morning, tell my roommates for accountability second thing, and then third thing that normally happens is I fall back and say or do something negative. So I struggle with how i can know what I want, have a clear idea how to get there and still mess up within seconds.
Paul says in Romans 7, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate”
You see, I long to see perfection in this area of my life.
I wanna get to a place where my knee jerk reaction is to speak life. My first response is kind words. I look for the best and only the best in people. I believe the best and always give them the benefit of the doubt. I’m gentle in my approach to conflict. I’m someone that everyone would believe to be long suffering.
I EVEN know how to practice those things to become more perfect, but I find myself barely trying.
I love Jesus. Nothing can take the promises he has given me away. Nothing can take his love away from me. He is the truth I choose to build my whole life on. I trust him. I believe
He is who He said he is.
And yet, I can’t help but get discouraged by the amount that fail him. By the amount of days I’m far away. By the amount of days I don’t draw near. By the amount of time I waste not spending time with him. By the precious people I pass by because I’m focusing on myself.
That’s overwhelming. To have this need for perfection but also know you can never attain it.
To know I can do everything as perfect as I can but at the end of the day it wouldn’t be good enough to God without Jesus.
Valleys are hard places to walk through. They aren’t as beautiful normally (except when you’re talking bout the Baker Valley, hey beautiful hometown) ANYWAYS, they aren’t as rewarding to walk through, they are a representation of some bad days.
So this morning as Dave preached was just explaining how mountain top experiences are a dream. The view, the feeling, the atmosphere… everything is right. However, those valleys…they ain’t tight.
BUT have hope because we know that there is this lily in the valley. A place where we can see this remnant of hope.
We can be comforted because we see in that valley that there is this beautiful flower as a reminder to us.
In the bible it is a literal lily. In my life today the reminder was a literal lily. The flower that I knew I disliked is the one offering me that remnant of hope. That I do not have to walk through the valley fearing how I am seen by others. I don’t have to walk through this valley ashamed that I am not on the mountain top.
HE REVEALED THIS ALL TO ME BY SAYING I HATE LILIES. thats ridiculous.
So I will take comfort in this flower that I “hate” because to me it is a picture of how He shows up in my life, and He is the only perfection I can rely on.